I realize that I made mistakes and I realize that I shouldn't have fallen in love with the boy had fallen in love with. I even wish I hadn't of told him.
My dear friend told me that the twinkle in my eye disappeared after I told him and he didn't return the love. My friend said that the boy didn't deserve my love that the boy had an opportunity to have a beautiful, intelligent, loving woman and the boy choose to reject me for a woman who has been using him. Mikey was right, this boy didn't deserve my love. He didn't deserve anything I gave him.
Today, I got weak and viewed his blog and facebook profile. He is in a lot of pain Michelle clearly hurt him. Sad thing is that he was dating both of us, and he knew Michelle was using him and I could tell by the complaints he had. He had me right there who wouldn't have treated him as badly. Yet he chose the drama.
Part of me wants to hold him and make it better, that would only hurt me because he never cared. My heart has become cold as ice. I don't think I will be able to love another man again. I know I won't.
Then I start thinking, so many people don't have love and never will and when I say this I mean as a life partner that will love you unconditionally. I am one of those people. I have known this my whole life. I have my beautiful children whom I love and they love me. I have wonderful friends who love me and will always love me. I am a wanderer and will continue to meander through life and enjoy nature around me.
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