Journey to Enlightenment 28 November 2011

"Do your best and do it according to your own inner standard (call it conscience), not just according to society's knowledge and judgement of your deeds. 'To do our best' is just a phrase of a few words, but it means that at all times in our everyday life we should check our mind so that we don't feel guilty about it. If we do that, we are doing our best." ~Dalai Lama

As I read this several times this cold autumn morning I realized that "our best" applies to all our deeds, actions, and personality.

If as a person we have inner strength, love, compassion, and confidence as we go about our daily lives as long as we do our best to share light with those around us we are doing our best.

For myself, I found this quote to find a place in my soul. As I just suffered the loss of a man I love. He has contacted me, as of yesterday. In the conversation he had indicated that there were things he wanted to change about me. I found that to be hurtful. In a way that I tried my best to love him unconditionally, and he put conditions on the love he had for me. Not only that but in his mind if he points out my failures (by his standards) and changes me he would consider starting our relationship over again.

I can walk away knowing I "Tried my Best" in that relationship. That my family and friends who love me unconditionally are already aware of the joy and love I bring to there lives thus my best is divine light.

I will walk in the light to bring joy and love to those in my life. I will try my best to share unconditionally the love, knowledge, and joy to those dear to me and my new friends I met.

Namaste

Journey to enlightenment 27 November 2011

"if we examine ourselves every day with mindfulness and mental alertness, checking our thoughts, motivations, and their manifestations in external behavior, a possibility for change and self-improvement can open within us. Although I myself cannot claim with confidence to have made any remarkable progress over the years, my desire and determination to change and improve is always firm. From early morning until I go to bed and in all situations of life, I always try to check my motivation and be mindful and present in the moment. Personally, I find this to be very helpful in my own life." ~Dalai Lama

I read this quote many times this morning. My eyes were opened as I tend to speak from my emotions and lack the control to be mindful and delve deeply into my thoughts to ensure I don't drag out negative emotions. I need much, improvement in the area of of changing my behavior.

I constantly need to remember to breathe deeply and think "what will this behavior or statement reflect?". This shall be my personal challenge but one that can be altered. It will lead to positive changes.

Journey of Enlightenment 26 November 2011

I awoke this morning and read my daily Dalai Lama as I have on other mornings. The beginning of today's journey brought me a silent tranquil spirit. It is the peace I am searching for the peace I so desire to share with others.

"Ordinary compassion and love give rise to a very close feeling, but it is essentially attachment.  As long as the other person appears to you as beautiful or good, love remains, but as soon as he or she appears to you as less beautiful or good, your love completely changes.  Even though your dear friend is the same person, he feels more like an enemy. Instead of love you now feel hostility.  With genunine love and compassion, another person's appearance or behavior has no effect on your attitude. Real compassion comes from seeing the other's suffering. You feel a sense of responsibilty, and you want to do something for him or her."  ~Dalai Lama

So much wisdom, as I can truly apply this thought and wisdom to many of my relationships in my life. How much healing must I do to lift others from pain and sorrow that I may have inflicted upon them. 

With love in my soul and heart, I hope that I can be forgiven by those I have hurt. I pray that they may find peace and comfort.

The world is a wonderful place full of beauty. The world is full of beautiful people who have much to give to those around them.  As Thanksgiving has past us just recently and now our hearts and minds turn to the celebration of the birth of the Saviour.  I hope that I can express my deepest love and joy to all of my children, family and friends. As you all have made me the person I am today. I love you all with such joy and peace. Thank you so much for blessing my life with your kindness and love. I am who I am because of each of you.

I am sending all peace and joy this holiday season. May love feel your hearts with joy and happiness throughout your life.

Bring me to Life

Bring Me To Life
Evanescence

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life

frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
only you are the life among the dead

all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become

(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)

Crepuscule

Crepuscule

You pierced my heart
with the cold steal
I watched your eyes
the love
in your eyes gone.

The dagger you wiped
on your shirt
I could feel the blood
from my heart
pouring from the wound.


The wound you left
in my heart
the blood rushing
from my body
I feel my heart slow down.

My body falls
restfully numb
I can't feel my hands
the hands that
held you close many nights.

Darkness
encompasses me
you lift my limp body
as you place me in the
waves of the ocean.

Is this our farewell


Ceil Alexander

The great loss

"After my first love. I built this suit of armor, so strong, so invulnerable. I came across you. Slowly my guard was let down. So vulnerable to pain and despair. A love so perfect, so beautiful, was the double edged sword. One side so sweet. So dull of worry. So full of love. The other so sharp of worry. So deadly with confusion. So overcome of aberrancy. They meet at the apex. The sword was the only thing, The only thing to pierce through the armor. Through the mind, the soul, the heart. The sword tears a hole. The sharpest of sides is numb to pain, The dull side brings a pain. A pain so excruciating, the pain unreal, the suffering so great. This side pierces the mind, the soul, the heart.. The wound lasting and irreparable. A pain never to leave. A pain that allows you to live but in turn, it kills the mind, the soul, the heart. A pain that may lie dormant, only to arise and hurt more than it ever did. But through all doubt and suffering, the love was worth the pain. The love so perfect so beautiful. Was worth the pain. Was worth the death of me. Was worth losing everything I ever had. Even if it was you that I lost." ~anonymous


I could not have expressed my current feelings better. Thus this entry is dedicated to "A" where ever he my be.

Deep Thoughts on Love November 24, 2011

What is love without motive? Can there be love without any incentive, without wanting something for oneself out of love? Can there be love in which there is no sense of being wounded when love is not returned? If I offer you my friendship and you turn away, am I not hurt? Is that feeling of being hurt the outcome of friendship, of generosity, of sympathy? Surely, as long as I feel hurt, as long as I there is fear, as long as I help you hoping that you may help me -which is called service -there is no love. If you understand this, the answer is there.

~J. Krishnamurti